Fertility Meditation - What's the Secret Sauce in Mindfulness for Fertility?
Part 1
If you follow my work you’ll know that for years I’ve been recommending mindfulness and meditation as essential tools for everyone - no matter what’s going on in your life. (There’s always room for more moments of joy). I’ve written about mindfulness and sex, mindfulness and running, mindful eating etc etc… Every single aspect of your life can be impacted by these practices in a positive way so you can get on with the business of getting pregnant feeling hopeful and energized (the amount of energy we spend in our daily negative mental acrobatics is obscene).
The Secret Sauce of Fertility Meditation
But what is the secret sauce of fertility meditation that has every yogi and tech mogul singing its praises. In Part 2 we’ll take a deeper dive into what’s physically happening behind the scenes in your brain when you meditate (we can see what’s happening moment by moment on brain scans). You’ll see there’s no woo when we peer inside the brain - but there’s plenty of WOW when you realize there’s real change happening to the structure of your brain and you start to sweat the small stuff a LOT less.
Infertility is hard enough without your brain’s normal day to day activity making it 100 times harder. That’s really the end game…(other than getting that BFP) - to make this journey (and other life challenges that you WILL experience) less stressful and more hopeful by nurturing your head and heart during this time with brain science - not snake oil. Let’s look at mindfulness for fertility.
So have you ever wondered how this simple practice actually works for fertility?
How does the FertileMind app unlock your reproductive potential?
What is Mindfulness and how can Mindfulness help for Fertility?
Let’s first define what we mean by mindfulness. Put simply, it's the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment with a curious, gentle attitude. This might involve focusing on your breath, paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment, or simply noticing your surroundings while engaging all of your senses. (Note I said “gentle” attitude - there’s no room for self criticism only self-compassion).
What’s NOT happening when you’re in the present moment? Well, first of all you’re not time travelling to the start of your next cycle and imagining all kinds of trouble. You’re also not replaying and ruminating on a play by play of that argument with your mother in law at the annual BBQ. Being present as often as possible get’s you off the train to stress town - freeing up mental/emotional/physiological resources for a more positive baby making journey. You’ll also get some headspace to step off the hamster wheel of life for a few minutes each day.
So, how does this magic happen? Well, according to the experts, mindfulness works by calming down our busy brains and bringing us into a state of calm, alertness.
(It’s important to note that having a busy brain isn’t a problem - the issue is that our busy brain is addicted to drama and will continue to hold you hostage in stress town until you realize the key to unlock your wellbeing has always been in your pocket).
Escape the "Stress Town" with Fertility Meditation
Meditation is like pressing the reset button on your mental state. I like to think of it as a mental reboot. I have a habit of leaving every tab open on my laptop - I’ll push my MAC as far as I can (or until I see that spinning circle of doom). Eventually I’ll reboot my laptop which allows me to boost my productivity - as all of the program are now working optimally. When we take a few minutes to mentally reboot it allows you to approach the world with renewed clarity and focus and all of our ‘systems’ are working optimally. When you’re stuck in stress town you’re in fight/flight mode making it harder to conceive. Your body is working against itself. It makes sense then to have an intervention for the brain’s addiction to drama so it spends more time in a more relaxed state and releasing important hormones and chemical messengers for conception.
5 Steps for Mindful Meditation (Preganancy Meditation)
But let's be honest, that all sounds a bit ‘unicorny’. So let's take a closer look at the mechanics of mindful meditation for pregnancy (the secret sauce).
Step 1: Find a quiet space where you won't be disturbed
This could be a peaceful beach, a cool tranquil forest, or the toilet at work (hey, we've all been there).
Step 2: Sit in a comfortable position
Cross your legs if you're feeling fancy, or just sit upright in your chair and try not to fall asleep. We won't judge.
Step 3: This is considered the settling phase
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine you're inhaling the aroma of a delicious pizza (or whatever food floats your boat) and exhaling all your stress about your upcoming IVF. Repeat this process for as long as it takes to forget about your impending deadlines and mounting credit card debt. Every few seconds your mind will be magnetically drawn to random thoughts that appear out of nowhere and in the beginning you won’t even notice your mind has wandered off from your breath. Notice your mind has left the building…and gently escort it back to the breath without beating yourself up that you didn’t DO it right…this will happen repeatedly (this is totally normal). The fact that you’ve noticed that you’re on autopilot and your mind is now running YOU not the other way around is a mindful moment.
Step 4: Now it's time to focus on your thoughts
Imagine your mind is the sky and your thoughts are fluffy white clouds, drifting lazily across a bright blue sky. Ignore the fact that you're actually in your cluttered living room with a pile of laundry staring you down. Just focus on watching the thoughts pass by. Somedays there’s storms and somedays it’s quiet and calm - but the blue sky is always just behind those clouds. The clouds always pass but when we’re caught up in the unpredictability of infertility weather patterns it can feel like we’re going to be stuck in this storm forever. Do you remember that time 4 years ago when you were really upset and you thought you’d never get over it? Well here we are!
Step 5: Congratulations!
You've achieved mindfulness and unlocked your reproductive potential. Just kidding, it's not THAT easy. But hey, at least you got a few minutes of peace and quiet, right? Bask in the glory of your newfound inner peace, and try not to get too distracted by the sudden craving for pizza.
In all seriousness, infertility is a difficult and often heartbreaking journey, and mindfulness and fertility meditations are just some of the tools in a much larger toolbox of coping mechanisms. But if you can find a few moments of calm and connection in the chaos, it might just help you stay sane through the ups and downs of trying to infertility.
Who knew that inner peace and a new way of thinking about your fertility could be so simple (and delicious)? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to order a pizza... for mindfulness research purposes, of course.
See you soon for Part II.
Tracy
