Positive Thinking - Is This Helpful or Harmful Advice for Women Experiencing Infertility?
“You’re trying too hard” “Think positive” “You need a vacation”…we’ve all heard this well intentioned advice before. Does trying to control your thoughts by making yourself think positively a benign self help approach - or is this advice causing more problems for women.
The process of consciously trying to avoid certain thoughts is referred to as thought suppression. Thought suppression involves trying to push away or avoid certain thoughts or emotions, often in an effort to reduce distress or anxiety. This can involve distracting yourself such as social media scrolling, over exercising, overeating or trying to actively suppress unwanted thoughts that can be distressing.
Research on thought suppression suggests that attempting to suppress thoughts often leads to an increase in the frequency and intensity of the very thoughts we are trying to avoid. This phenomenon is known as the rebound effect, and it occurs because the brain tends to monitor for the thoughts we are trying to suppress. It ends up like a mental game of whack-a-mole.
Studies have also found that thought suppression as a coping mechanism can have negative effects on our mental health, including increased anxiety and depression, as well as physical health, such as weakened immune function.
Recent research has focused on the effects of new strategies to thought suppression, such as mindfulness and acceptance-based approaches. These techniques involve acknowledging and accepting unwanted thoughts and feelings, rather than trying to suppress or avoid them. This can lead to greater emotional resilience and improved mental and physical health outcomes.
Simply put - By NOT engaging in the drama your mind wants to continue you are intentionally reducing the availability of stress hormones in your body so you can support your reproductive health from the inside out.
Overall, recent research suggests that attempting to suppress unwanted thoughts may be counterproductive, and that alternative approaches focused on acceptance and mindfulness may be more effective for promoting well-being.
Does Positive Thinking Help?
Positive thinking and thought suppression are not the same thing, although they can be related in certain contexts. Positive thinking involves deliberately focusing on positive thoughts and emotions, and intentionally cultivating an optimistic outlook about your fertility journey. This can involve techniques like visualization, affirmations, and reframing negative experiences in a more positive light.
As mentioned above, thought suppression, on the other hand, involves trying to push away or avoid certain thoughts or emotions, often in an effort to reduce distress or anxiety.
While positive thinking can be a helpful tool for managing stress and improving your mood temporarily some research has suggested that excessive positive thinking or an overemphasis on positive emotions as a coping mechanism during stressful times can actually be counterproductive, leading to feelings of guilt or shame when negative emotions inevitably arise. Wood et al (2009) found that positive self-statements can sometimes be harmful if you have low self-esteem. Researchers found that those with low self-esteem who repeated positive self-statements experienced a decrease in mood and self-esteem, while those with high self-esteem experienced a boost in mood and self-esteem.
At the end of the day it’s so important to find a balance between positive, optimistic thinking and accepting the full range of our thoughts and emotions, both positive and negative. This can involve developing skills like mindfulness and self-compassion that allow us to be present with our experiences and accept them without trying to suppress or avoid them.
All thoughts and feelings are transient, just like everything in life - everything changes - difficult and wonderful experiences never stay for long - they pass - but when we’re so immersed in TTCing it can feel like we’re stuck in a constant stress cycle. Remember - thoughts are not facts. You don’t have to believe everything you think on this journey (especially when we know the brain can exaggerates emotions and really isn’t to be trusted with what is ‘reality’.
Resources:
Koster, E. H., Hoorelbeke, K., Onraedt, T., Owens, M., & Derakshan, N. (2017). Cognitive control interventions for depression: A systematic review of findings from training studies. Clinical Psychology Review, 53, 79–92. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.01.002
This systematic review examined the effects of cognitive control interventions, such as thought suppression, on depression outcomes. The results showed that these interventions were generally not effective in reducing depressive symptoms and may even be counterproductive, as they can increase the frequency and intensity of negative thoughts.
Wegner, D. M., Schneider, D. J., Carter, S. R., & White, T. L. (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53(1), 5–13. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.53.1.5
This classic study on thought suppression found that attempting to suppress thoughts can actually lead to an increase in their frequency and intensity. The authors suggest that this paradoxical effect occurs because the brain monitors for the suppressed thought, making it more salient and difficult to ignore.
Ruscio, A. M., & Borkovec, T. D. (2004). Experience and appraisal of worry among high worriers with and without generalized anxiety disorder. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 42(12), 1469–1482. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2004.03.011
This study found that individuals who attempted to suppress their worries experienced greater anxiety and distress than those who did not suppress their worries. The authors suggest that this may be because attempting to suppress worries leads to increased attention and vigilance for potential threats, which can exacerbate anxiety and stress.
Positive Thinking as a Coping Strategy
Oettingen, G., Mayer, D., & Thorpe, J. S. (2017). Self-regulation of commitment to reduce sedentary behavior: Effects of mental contrasting with implementation intentions. Health Psychology, 36(10), 937–946. https://doi.org/10.1037/hea0000521
This study found that overly positive thinking about future goals and outcomes can sometimes be counterproductive. Specifically, the researchers found that individuals who engaged in mental contrasting, which involves considering both positive and negative aspects of a future goal, were more successful in reducing sedentary behavior than those who only engaged in positive thinking about the goal.
Wood, J. V., Perunovic, W. Q. E., & Lee, J. W. (2009). Positive self-statements: Power for some, peril for others. Psychological Science, 20(7), 860–866. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02370.x
Ayduk, O., Gyurak, A., & Luerssen, A. (2019). Individual differences in emotion regulation and their relationship to depressive symptoms. Emotion, 19(2), 261–270. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000448
This study found that overly positive thinking can sometimes interfere with effective emotion regulation. Specifically, the researchers found that individuals who tended to rely heavily on positive thinking to regulate their emotions were more likely to experience depressive symptoms than those who used a variety of emotion regulation strategies.
