Pregnancy Basking - How Positive Imagery Improves Your Fertility
Birth Basking’ is a term I use working with parents preparing for their baby’s birth. It’s a simple but profound practice that can change the way women experience their pregnancy and reduce the time they spend stressing about labor. But it can also be used for any potentially stressful upcoming event such as IVF - and as a way to experience heart coherence so all of your systems are working optimally. Learn more about heart coherence practices here.
In pregnancy so many parents are mentally rehearsing the kind of birth they don’t want (especially if they’re new to my GentleBirth approach). So what has this got to do with your current circumstances?
Are you letting your mind decide how you’ll feel as you think about your upcoming procedure? Would you like to have more control over how you experience the next few weeks?
Think about this for a minute. When you think about your upcoming IVF - how does it make you feel? Anxious and stressed or excited and eager? Repeated negative mental activity in the brain blocks oxytocin and endorphins due to the release of unnecessary adrenaline. Stress exhausts your mental and physical resources so if you want your IVF to be a more positive experience emotional mastery is essential.
You can choose to bask in what it feels like to get that BFP - to bask in what being pregnant and having a baby feels like - and minimize the time spent ‘nightmaring’ your upcoming treatment.
Why Positive Visualization is Important
We have a tricky brain that evolved to be constantly on the lookout for threats so it’s very easy to imagine all the negatives of IVF/IUI or that 2WW in a way that isn’t supportive of mental and physical wellness. Those neural connections in the brain are well and truly wired together and it’s so easy…it takes no effort (notice how quickly those negative images come to mind). They are indicative of just how well you’ve been practicing those thoughts. It’s called the negativity bias and is just a normal survival function of the brain. But that doesn’t mean we can’t tweak that brain ‘feature’ a little. Your brain can’t tell the difference between what you’re experiencing and something you’re vividly imagining.
When we ‘bask’ or simply ‘rehearse’ a positive emotion we bring about a state of physiological coherence. Coherence means the systems of your body and mind are in a state or stability. When we’re stressed the mind/body is in a state of chaos. That means when you intentionally activate a positive emotion your heart rate variability increases which has a significant effect on your health and wellness.
Pregnancy Bask Today
It’s more than seeing yourself happy, satisfied and pregnant. The emotions you intentionally evoke helps to change the wiring of your brain and gives the brain a different experience of what it is expecting TTCing to be like. It doesn’t come easy for most as you most likely haven’t been mentally rehearsing negative thoughts about your fertility so the connections need repetition to grow. The more you practice the more your automatic thoughts about your ability to become pregnant will change.
How helpful would it be to evoke a familiar feeling (practice is key!) of feeling happy, resilient and strong during your 2WW? This is such a simple way to hack your hormones - more coherence in the body = more oxytocin and endorphins and more wellness for you.
A common response is “why would I do that and then potentially setting myself up with positive expectations that will leave me disappointed if things don’t happen exactly like I imagine”? The goal here is not the woo concept of just ‘believe it enough and it’ll happen’. Nobody can predict how your next IVF will go. But you have a choice - to spend those weeks in anxiety or intentionally choose what you focus on and spend more time in a state of eagerness and anticipation. The time will be passing anyway - why choose misery? If your IVF is successful you’ll have already shared important chemical messengers with that growing embryo (what a fantastic gift to give your baby!) and if your IVF is unsuccessful you’ll have spent the last month in a state of anxiety and negativity. It’s literally a no brainer. Why suffer more than you need to?
It’s important to realize that just like a muscle you haven’t used in a while - it’s not always easy to refocus your mind towards the positive - you’ve had a LOT of practice in the ‘other’ direction. Be gentle with yourself as you establish this new habit. Try it - see how good it feels!
Pregnancy Basking Practice - 5 minutes
Find a place where you can be undisturbed for a few minutes, get comfortable and focus on your breath.
Pay attention to the the felt sense of the breath as it moves in and out of your body…and that rich oxygenated blood nourishing your body.
Let your breath settle into a slow rhythmic pace (this will settle your nervous system first).
Bring to mind a time in your life when you felt confident and happy, maybe think of a challenge you overcame….bring up those feelings of achievement.
As you notice those feelings building in your body - notice how they make you feel....notice any feelings of contentment and satisfaction. Now think about that upcoming IVF….feeling eager, easeful, excited……in control….notice how you feel…bask in those feelings of anticipation.
Repeat daily.
***This exercise helps reduce stress and bring more joy to your life but of course it doesn’t determine outcomes. Every so often I buy a lottery ticket and like most people I fantasize about those numbers coming up…what would I do with it? I think about the places I would travel to. How I would take care of friends and family. I haven’t won yet and my numbers may never come up but for those few minutes when I think of buying that lottery ticket I am marinading in those wonderful feelings. I feel good and that positive emotional state also has a knock on effect on those around me.
